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The Proposal

By Destiny

In early November 2023, I was having the time of my life adventuring and exploring different cultures with my then-boyfriend Drew. We talked about marriage, what it would look like, the things most important to us, and making our dreams happen together. 

As the month progressed, I started to get hints that Drew would ask me to marry him. When you're with someone long enough, you notice when their behavior is off or should I say different. We were in Bath, England when he surprised me by wanting to shop for rings. We went into the store to look at rings and I remember nervously asking him which finger he wanted the size of. He wanted the size of the marriage finger. From that point on, I had wedding bells ringing in my ears. The next month when we were in Florence, Italy, we walked across the famous bridge Ponte Vecchio where jewelers sell their art. We looked for rings again. I told myself it could be a Christmas present and to not pull the cart before the horse. He let me pick out a few rings I thought were pretty, and then I left the store so he could make the final decision. While I waited for Drew to finish up, I went outside and just really soaked in the beauty of that bridge and the moment. We finished off the night with a nice dinner. Carb- and oil-filled but worth every calorie with a view of that historic bridge. The next day, we were on our way to Venice. Drew suggested to me at dinner that we get a manicure in the morning. All the signs were there and then suddenly I realized that he was going to ask me to marry him in Venice. This is the place where the art and streets tell the most romantic story. It started to sink in more and more that this was going to be one of the best and most important days of my life. 

As we walked around Venice I was trying to be fully present, grateful for the moment I was in. I knew my whole life was about to change. Each time we crossed a cute little bridge or made our way to some beautiful monument, I felt a butterfly… this could be it… The whole day went on like that. We had gotten sufficiently lost in Venice and Sunset was approaching, so we decided a gondola ride was a good decision. It’s always better to view a city from the water, or should I say canal. It was sunset, so I mean, what could be more romantic than a gondola ride in Venice during Sunset?

Drew himself is a man of confidence. He believes in himself and it’s part of the magic that makes him so capable of anything he sets his mind to. On this gondola ride, I could see the veil of self-belief leaving him. He was beginning to be obviously nervous. You could tell he had this whole speech and intention planned but the moment itself was so full of just everything that all he could do was laugh. Then talk about the reasons that he loved me. The Sun was just slightly over the horizon at this moment, our gondola ride was nearing an end, and I saw that determination come back to his eyes. As he tries to balance himself on this shaky gondola, he pulls the ring box out and says, “Destiny Ann LaPrade would you marry me?” Gushing from feelings of joy and excitement, I responded, “Nothing would make me happier.” 

The feeling of your best friend asking you to marry them is one of life’s most precious moments. All the stereotypes are real. Time slows down a bit so you can enjoy it longer. I’ve waited all my life to be loved by someone like this. I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with this person; a person who I love, respect, and cherish more than shape and color itself. I just couldn’t stop thinking, “I did it, I found my person, and I’m living my own unique dream come true.” 

We got off our gondola and said goodbye to the day from Ponte Di Rialto. We scoped out a few restaurants with good reviews but couldn’t seem to find one that wasn’t very busy. We decided busy, or time for that matter, isn’t romantic. So, we chose to get off the beaten path and get lost again. We found a cute little restaurant where we could hear each other and talk. I won’t mention where we eventually landed, due to us not wanting it to become popular. We want it to stay a hidden gem for us. Gotta keep the magic alive, sorry guys. The restaurant only had three or four tables and no one outside at this two-person table right on the canal. It was just perfect, they even had soft blankets for our bodies so we could enjoy the fall atmosphere more. 

We weren’t sure how or where to break the engagement news. It was the main topic of dinner. How were we going to tell our parents the big news? Drew says, “I really should ask your Mom’s permission to marry you first.” Just like that, it was decided my mom would be the first to find out. I looked at my clock and realized it was about 9ish in the morning and it would be okay to call my mom. 

Drew calls my mom and she says, “Good morning Destiny”. Drew says, “It’s actually me Shannon. I wanted to call you because I wanted to ask your permission to marry your daughter?” She laughs out loud and says, “You’re a smart man Drew, of course I give my permission.” He nervously replies, “Shannon, I wanna start being your son off honestly. Can I confess something?” My mom says, “Yes Drew.” Drew slowly but steadily says, “I already asked her to marry me. I hope that’s okay.” My mom chuckles, “I'm okay with that, and of course it’s okay. It’s the thought that counts and I appreciate it.” 

My mom and I talked for a time. I can't remember how long it was, but what I really remember was how happy she was for us. My mom had lifted me up my whole life, and I was so happy to share the news with my biggest supporter. She was buzzing with excitement and joy. The last thing she said to me was, “I love you, Destiny. I’m so happy for you two. I’m going to call EVERYONE I know and tell them. The news is going to spread like WILDFIRE!” 

December 16th, 2023, was the day we called my mom and told her the news. She was ECSTATIC for us, absolutely delighted with the news. I later found out that our wedding news prompted my mom to call everyone she knew. Anyone that she was close to got to have a conversation with her that day. For many people, including myself, that’s the last time we talked to her. The joy, the excitement, the love of December 16th, 2023, for me, was the single best day of my life. I got engaged to my dream man, my best friend, in the most romantic city in the world, in the most dreamiest of ways I could have ever imagined. I’ll hold that day in my heart, for the rest of my days. No matter what, I’ll always have that day.

...This is where the story gets a bit sad… Two days later we received news that my Mother was in critical care, and we needed to come home immediately. From the remote Alps of Austria to Newport, Oregon in thirty hours, we arrived. When I got there, she was not responsive but alive. Despite much effort and fighting, she passed away in the afternoon on December 21, 2023, of pneumonia. I held her hand until the end. It was the Solstice, and winter had come for her and for me.  

I share this part of the history and include it in the engagement story because I want the whole story to be known. Marriage is for better or worse, in sickness or health, forsaking all others. I always knew Drew was the one, that we loved each other enough to be married. But it was in my darkest hour when Drew stood by me. When it wasn’t easy, he lovingly cared for me, held space, and did anything he could to help. These acts of love and care are what proved to me, without any doubt, that Drew would make a great husband, and that we were indeed ready to be married. 

Getting engaged and losing my mother in the same week, to put it simply, was a rollercoaster; a vicious ride that I didn’t want to be on, leaving me a different person than I was before. We originally wanted to get married in the Summer of 2024, but pushed it back to give me more time to mourn. It’s taken time to turn my grief into gratitude. Time to shift my perspective to focus on how grateful I am to have been loved like that by my Mother.

Dear friends and family, we have been planning a very special day of activities to honor and celebrate our love. Arguably there is no greater reason to celebrate than love, so we’re looking forward to sharing that with all of you. For a year, we have meticulously planned an enchanting celebration experience for all of us. 

Many people are coming to this wedding that I don’t know yet. Traditionally, parents play a big part in weddings in every culture I know. I don’t bring this up because I want to darken a celebration of love. I bring it up because it is my fate and to start anything right, I need to be honest. Unfortunately, my parents will not be able to share this special moment. My father passed away when I was nine, and now my mother is also gone. This is hard to navigate personally at a wedding. Coming from a place of vulnerability, I ask that you have compassion for my situation and avoid questions like, “Where are your parents? When is the father-daughter dance?” Not everyone is blessed to have parents in good health or a big family. I humbly ask that you don’t view me differently based on the number of family members that I have present. I hope you judge the conduct of my character and the way that I love Drew. I sincerely thank you for reading this and considering what I’ve shared. Despite the obstacles, I am still incredibly grateful and excited for this wedding. 

I am thankful to each of you for coming to our wedding, and I look forward to getting to know you more. 

Thanks to Elvis & BoomBoomPDX & Aunt Sue for the photos.

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